Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
