In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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