i always forget guys have bellybuttons
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
