Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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