im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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