At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
