So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
