none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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