clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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