Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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