I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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