Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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