Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Screwed.edu
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
