Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
