can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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