So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
