I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
