my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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