her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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