covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
