Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
