I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
