we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
