you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
