they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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