she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
