Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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