is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
