Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
