WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
