I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
