He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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