ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
