We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
