I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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