I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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