I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
