No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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