He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The air was thick with penises
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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