So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
