Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
