At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
my poor anus
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
