my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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