Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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