But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she smelled like a LAN party
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
