Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
