don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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