This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
