oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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