ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
